I have a terrible confession to make.
I'm the sort of person who trims her own bangs (fringe for the furriners). What's worse, I trim them at my desk at work. With my paper scissors of unknown origin, history and age.
You know though, I've always found this whole beauty thing a bit of a puzzle. I was raised by a darling mother who had (has - ongoing) a casual (if we're being nice) to belligerent (if we're being slightly less nice but not as outspoken as we could be) attitude towards the Feminine Mystique.
Most of what I learned about the whole thing actually came from a lovely book that I still think of with great fondness which was, if I want to be completely honest, pinched from my school library. It was also published around 1955. From it I learned that it is a terrible TERRIBLE mistake to have a club with a lot of girls and choose to all wear the same scent. Also? Never wear your ponytail on the same horizon as your nose - I'm not sure what the consequences were for this but I got the impression they were dire. And, with no charge at all (which is generous given the onus on my immortal soul for the above admitted book theft) brushing your hair nearly constantly is, if not morally essential for salvation, at least totally necessary for silky (but not sexy - NO SEXY IN THE 50's!!) hair.
There was this chart though, a chart that has worried me ever since. I've seen the pear-shaped, apple-shaped, lychee-shaped thing and they left me cold (I was older then and less open I suppose). No, it's the face shape chart that haunts me - a page of line drawings showing the various face shapes: oval, square, triangle, pyramid. The thing is, I have never, NEVER been able to figure out which I am. I think if I could just nail this down I could probably solve all the other little conundrums in life.
See, I start by thinking I'm oval. But that's the ideal shape, and maybe I'm just choosing that because it's ideal and, let's face it, I'm a horrible over-achiever. Maybe I'm square - but there's definitely a chin and in the chart the chin does not poke down out of the square diagram. I totally hold to my chin. The triangle gives me a bit of concern (the chin!) but I can dismiss the pyramid out of hand - definitely not a pyramid.
To complicate matters there's the very important thing about cheekbones. I've heard about these a lot, and I remember when I was a young teen I would look with great concern in the mirror and tilt one way and suck my cheeks in and try to figure out what in the hell cheekbones were anyway. I know they're important though because there was this show where this character claimed that her entire body hangs off her cheekbones - and frankly these days I could totally do with some infrastructure like that.
I have just broken off to brush my teeth and wash my face and do the various annointings that should keep the evil spirits at bay or at least mean that every two weeks or so the very kind check out person asks to see my ID when I buy a bottle of wine and I have tried to take serious stock of things. I return this consideration: a) no one, absolutely no one can hang their body off cheekbones. b) blob-shaped. It's the oval of the 2000's. Trust me.
And: Over-stretched Frog? This counts as a BONUS POST! You're welcome. And happy miliversary. I love you.
I know my face shape, but it doesn't help me at all.
I just keep me clean and moisturised and all it well.
Posted by: Amy | 07/24/2010 at 04:52 AM
Ha! You've reminded me of a blog post I was cogitating today. I shall go write it.
PS Am I following you on Twitter? Are you ON Twitter? I have totally lost track of who is and who isn't.
Posted by: Beleaguered Squirrel | 08/24/2010 at 04:37 PM